Maintenance – A Bit of humor

Maybe it is deserved, maybe not, but there is a sort of stigma associated with “Vegans”.  There are parodies and comedy acts out there portraying vegans as a little “holier-than-thou” and possibly a little uptight.  I for one find humor is these generalizations (and also don’t label myself as vegan….well…maybe “veganish” 🙂

Anyway, I was in Mexico last week with 4 other couples (one of which including Newbie Mommy).  We had never met 2 of the couples previous to our trip.  We lucked out and an incredible time with everyone.  One of the men turned out to be one of the funniest guys that I have ever met in my life (which only adds to a great vacation).  As the week progressed, of course our “eating styles” were discussed.  He brought quite a bit of humor as he declared half-way through the week that he had “turned vegan”.  When we got back home he sent us this testimonial.  I laughed so hard that I cried.  I certainly hope no one is offended by it and I share it only to add a touch of humor to a subject that is often fairly intense.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!!

Maintenance Mommy

To all my Vegan friends,

I never thought I would find myself in this situation. I am a Vegan. There, I said it.
I would like to quickly take you back 2 weeks into my train wreck of a life. I was the average american man, short, balding, horny and eating cancer daily. I would sometimes have massive headaches and my body would ache constantly. A lot of times I just wouldn’t feel right. Well, my world turned upside down last week…in a good way!!

I met two young ladies, Charity and Loni. They spoke words that I had never heard before. What they said clicked for me and made me evaluate my life. I was worthless, and they were kind enough to let me know.

Today, I am a better man. I am now proud to say that I AM A VEGAN!!! Do people stare at me when I order a Sirloin Steak and ask them to hold the steak and replace it with leafy greens? ABSOLUTELY. In fact just last night I ordered an omelet and told them to hold the eggs and got an odd look from the waitress. Well, a good friend of mine recently told me, “don’t worry about the haters, you’ll have the last laugh and they will all be dead soon anyway”.

Sure, I fall off the wagon, sometimes 5 or 6 times a day, but those times a side I have a new found dedication. While my body still aches and the massive headaches have actually increased, not to mention feeling constantly like I’m going to throw up, I have noticed that my hair is fuller, I am now 4 inches taller and now not really attracted to women anymore.

Thank you Charity and Loni, I LOVE THE NEW ME!!!!

Source: WFM 1-10

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