Newbie – A sad confession!

 OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am in shock of my own behavior over the last 24 hours! I am about to confess something that, quite frankly, makes me feel embarrassed. Something I have NEVER experienced before and hope to never go through  again.

Let me give the back story: My sweet husband was in India for just over a week (gone on my bday I might add). So being the sweetie that he is, he brought home gifts for my girls and me. He pulled out books and bracelets, a beautiful necklace for me, and then the BIG whammy…. EUROPEAN CHOCOLATE!! If you have never tasted it, then you are lucky because you have no idea what you are missing!! I do not have a prob with chocolate living here in the US. It doesn’t tempt me, I don’t really even have a prob passing up brownies or any sweet treat for that matter. I am more of a salty girl. 

SO back to the story, my sweet husband pulls out THREE GIANT Milka bars!! One with caramel and hazelnuts, one with wafers in it, and the grand finale plain solid Milk chocolate!! I looked at him like he was crazy, there is no way I would eat any of these.  I was grateful he thought of me, he knows I LOVE European chocolate.

I had been at a yoga retreat and been eating so clean that even these did not tempt me. 

Two days pass and we open one and have a few little squares, no big deal.. don’t get me wrong it was as amazing as I remember it to be. Melting in my mouth with gooey caramel. YUM. I stopped there. 

Later that night I had a couple more squares… these bars were 4×10 or 12 squares, I am talking huge bars. I had my steamed kale and vowed to stay away from the chocolate. The milk alone in them was enough for me to logically not touch them. Let alone the sugar and other processed ingredients.

Next morning went to the gym, came home and planned to make a smoothie but instead grabbed a couple more squares!!  I didn’t realize the trap I was falling in to. By the end of that day between my husband and I alone we ate the whole thing! So I vowed not to open the other one….. that didn’t last long! I still hadn’t caught on until the end of the day today. When it took me only one day to eat most of the second bar myself, sharing a few rows with my husband and kids (because I don’t give that crap to my kids.. I guess I just eat it??) Then it was onto the third bar.. by this time I was talking myself out of eating it, but my hands grabbed it and it went into my mouth..I even promised myself I wouldn’t take another piece and hid it from  myself. I threw it as high as I could in my pantry… We have stools…..Yikes! Three rows into it, I confessed to my hubby and he said throw it away. I felt like an addict! I WAS ADDICTED!?! I was sneaking into it, hiding it from my kids and husband.. whoa!  How did this happen so fast??  I have never in my life felt this way!


So my dearest friend maintenance mommy, I finally understand what you mean read her article here.

I actually had to pull the bar out of the package and make sure I threw it away in a gross garbage so that I wouldn’t go back for it. I even grabbed one last bite before throwing it out! It had control over me in just a matter 24 -36 hours! I could not believe it!! I threw it out feeling sick to my stomach and thoroughly disappointed in myself!

 I grabbed my gym gear and headed out the door! Exercise is truly my drug of choice, I don’t know how I let that chocolate take me over, but now I know why European chocolate always tasted  so much better…. I was addicted! CRAZY for me to even think.

My empathy goes out to anyone struggling with this. My purpose in writing this blog is to open your eyes a little, if you have to sneak around or hide treats from yourself to stop you from eating them, take a step back and TAKE CONTROL!  Go for a walk, go to the gym THROW IT OUT and make sure its a yucky garbage and take it out of the package mush it, squish it, step on it whatever it takes. DO NOT LET FOOD CONTROL YOU!

Here is a great link to article on how to rid yourself from these types of food addictions from PCRM (one of our favorite sites!!):

Source: WFM 1-10

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